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Freki's Absent Mind

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I guess I've been told...


frekiandgeri

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I was told I couldn't possibly be Pagan (you keep using that word... I do not think it means what you think it means) and choose not to have children... because I wouldn't be able to experience the mother aspect of goddess.

 

Wait... what?

 

First of all, I'm an atheist. I don't believe in any deities.

 

Second, even if I did believe in a deity... I wouldn't place a gender on it.

 

 

This person went on to tell me that by choosing not to have children, I'm choosing destruction. Having children is choosing life and creation, and by denying my maternal destiny, I'm choosing destruction.

 

Oh boy. There are many ways to nurture life and be creative other than having children. I grow plants and care for animals. I am nurturing to my husband. I draw, paint, crochet, and write. I am not a walking uterus and motherhood is not the one-size-fits-all destiny of every woman on this planet! For some it is a blessing and something they always knew they wanted for themselves... and that's wonderful! But that is not the case for me. (And all that aside, there is nothing wrong with destruction. Without it, there could be no life.)

 

But gee... I guess he must know better than I what I can and can't be.

 

~ Freki

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Abraxia

Posted

I must be extremely selfish then because I would have liked to have a child but chose not to because of a health issue that might be passed on and I wouldn't want to burden another with it. You have a very healthy attitude. Ask this person what business is it of theirs if you have children or not and then ask them if producing yet another life on an already overpopulated and struggling earth is a wise and caring thing to do for something which is supposed to be sacred? Personally, I think having a child because it's expected or because everyone else does it is extremely selfish.

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ilexys_morighanan

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This person went on to tell me that by choosing not to have children, I'm choosing destruction. Having children is choosing life and creation, and by denying my maternal destiny, I'm choosing destruction.
<br><i><br></i><div>As much as I disagree with this person, I feel for them. They have a lot of fear in their heart, and they're laying it out on others. I hope they can find peace with themselves someday.<br><br>But anyway, being an atheist practitioner myself, I can support that having children is <i>not </i>a deity-granted duty, and the universe is <i>way too intricate </i>to have just 'creation' and 'destruction', and nothing in-between or beyond those parameters. As you said yourself, you nurture animals and plants and take care of your husband, and they prosper and grow. That sounds a lot like parenting to me. :) And you make things! How is that destruction??<br><br>Me, personally, I plan to have children in the future. My partner and I have wanted to have children our whole lives, but we are currently in the process of building our financial foundation, and due to my partner being a transgendered female (she was born male, but identifies as female and plans to have surgery to make that a physical reality), we have had to store away sperm, and it's going to cost some sums to be able to conceive. We'll get there someday, though, I'm pretty sure of it.<br></div>
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LadyShalott

Posted

[code

But gee... I guess he must know better than I what I can and can't be.][/code]

 

Good grief, what were you trying to do.... think for yourself and proclaim your own identity... Tsk Tsk...

Aren't we all grateful for the fortunate luck we possess in finding such wise and willing persons to set us straight and put us on the path to righteousness? :rolleyes_witch:

 

IM, you are more generous in your understanding than I.... this would just tiff me off...

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Freki, you sound like a very nurturing soul, if I may use that term to an atheist. My Dad was an atheist and very loving and gentle. I have met women and men along my journey who are very nurturing- who never had, nor plan to have, children. They nurture friends, neigbors, kids, family, spouse, you name it. I personally love wildlife around me, my cats, dogs, the gardens and woods, and consider myself an aptly nurturing person in relationship to these things too.

 

If I may venture an amature opinion about the person speaking of "destruction." That particular individual sounds like a deeply angry person to me. May I suggest that you consider the possibility that not engaging in discourse about your personal life's decisions with an individual might be wise? For what its worth, avoiding them is helpful to me.

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