So going back to Colorado is a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing financially and we will be a lot closer to his family. The bad news is that we will be a lot closer to mine. Not really a big deal if you don't mind tyrannical matriarch that is my step-mother.(my mother has passed away) I have always been the black sheep of the family. I keep trying to fit in because they are my family but I really don't.
No I am not angst-y. It would just be nice if I could be myself and still be accepted by them. Which all sounds logical and good...until I looked at what I was doing. I am doing the equivalent of being a xtian and asking a Muslim family to love me for who I am. No matter how hard I tried I would have to not be me, to be with them. If they were not family I would not try as hard.
So honestly I am not looking forward to going to Colorado, but only because I am not willing to go quietly into the night any more.
This past month or so I have started drinking after my son goes to bed and smoking cloves. My eating has gone to hell and so has my figure. Hey but I still have my husband and son who love me no matter what. :hugs: