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The Yeti

It's New Year's Eve and I've spent some time thinking about the schizophrenic weather I saw today. This morning woke me to the sounds of rain, taking in its smells as I smoked the ritual morning cigarette. The drive to work takes me across a bridge area over the local river and I noticed it was exceptionally foggy. It's well-traveled and gets plenty of commuter traffic but there's always something eerie about the way that fog rises on the ice out there. The snow/rain mix started halfway acr

Capsicum

Capsicum

It's raining skulls

Starting a new and unknown chapter of my life, moving across the country to a mysterious place. Leaving it all behind, wondering if I'm leaving much at all.   I haven't been able to cry in many years, sometimes I just want to break down and release it in a cataclysmic event but there's no use. I can only cry in my dreams.   Sifting through the digital pictures of this place, seeing the sad life, the desolation in my eyes over the years. Floods of memories, some good, some bad, but always a g

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Capsicum

Spring and my indoor jungle

This time of year for the last few years has an interesting context to me. Every time this region gets some of the coldest and iciest weather of the year I'm indoors starting a legion of seedlings for my upcoming garden. Currently I'm sharing space with well over 300 plant life forms, and More are coming. While I notice around me that there are many people who get seasonal depression, or are constantly complaining about the cold of February I'm always quite content this time of year with the

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Capsicum

Boxing myself in.

I'm not a very open person, I often keep my thoughts, feelings, and innermost desires to myself. I have walls on top of walls and walls for my walls. I don't know why, it seems like my nature, it feels normal to put the prison on lockdown and let nothing out or in, I've been doing it for most of my life. In spite of this, I am an extrovert, I'm good with social interaction and also pretty friendly and outgoing. I organize group activities fairly easily and use natural oratory skills to gain

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Summer's End

As the summer closes I look back at a few of the things that have waxed and waned over the last several months. One of these was an interesting ride I've taken involving an amateur "investigation" of murder-suicides in the region. This was prompted by a young man who randomly approached me at a local department store at 1am one weekend a few months back, he appeared to work there although I have not seen him since that night. This investigation has perplexed me ever since. The precise detail

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A summer of rediscovery

This summer has been a rather eventful one as far as my spiritual path goes. For a little bit of back history, last summer I was rather lonely, aggravated, and in denial with myself that I was miserable in my living situation. I was fresh out of a rather vapid and incompatible relationship of 7 months and had started a new (old) job where I had previously worked from 2008-2010 and had forgotten how much I disliked working for the company. I was basically droned out, barely aware of the life goin

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